Knock Knock who's there? ... who's there?!?!?! ... WHO'S THERE ?!?!?!? ... stupid kids.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The shopkeeper says, "the bar is nextdoor." The man walks out.

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How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter. It won't come to you regardless what you call it.

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whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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You wanna hear a joke? People that debase womens' rights.

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Whats worse than getting raped by jack the ripper? Getting fingered by captain hook.

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What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a Brazilian Aristocrat? I don't know.

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roses are red violets r blue jump off a building no one likes u

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Q: How do you make a clown frown? A: Hit it with an ax.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

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what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

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Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

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what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

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Two pies where sitting in a oven when one of the pies says: God damn it's hot in here. The other pie screams out loud: HOLY SHIT A TALKING PIE!

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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I have never liked jokes. They promote laughter, which is the music of Satan strangling hairy children and wildebeast. I'd like to thank anti-joke.com for their work in the struggle against hilarity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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