What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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why did radio not get the song? beacause he radio didnt work.

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What's the answer to all your problems The answer

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K

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bob said "Hi Joe why the long face" Joe replies "I'm a horse dip sh*t"

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here." The other muffin doesn't say anything because it is a muffin.

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What did the chair say to the guy? Nothing, as it is a chair and chairs can't talk

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What has two legs and bleeds alot? Half a cat!

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why does paul mccartney not wear shoes? cause a nigga stole it

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Two flatfishes swam in a bathtub.

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What did the owl say when it fell out of the tree? Nothing. Owls don't talk.

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What is better than a 50-inch wide plasma flat screen TV? A 51-inch wide plasma flat screen TV.

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Why couldn't the pirate enter into the movie? Because he's dead.

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i tried logging into my ipad. turns out, it was an etch a sketch, and i dont own an ipad. also, im out of vodka.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Herpes. Bummer.

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Why couldn't a little kid turn around in a hall? He has a spear in his back.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Ask me if I'm a rock. Are you a rock? No.

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You heard now that you can not only bet safe at net casinos, but also win safely? Win safely? The hell does that mean? You mean you could win unsafely before? Like the betting casino crashing after you win a million? Moral: That crap is even less moral than I am ffs! Now they give you like 5000 game bucks free just to get you addicted.

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What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

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Give one reason for not visiting a hotel. Basil Fawlty is the manager.

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Why was the blonde sad? Her phone was broken due to an NNEMP.

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What do you call a black man standing on top of a church? "Holy-Shit."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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