i like men but im not gay

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roses are red , thankyou for stating that , i can now continue with gardening as it is my profession.

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What's worst than your computer breaking? Your face

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Why didn't the vampire go to the Garlic festival? Because it sucks.

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why did mad is on home s walk becuaes a isnt a number

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What's brown and sticky? A black man's dick after raping you.

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I rated up my joke then opened a new tab went to Anti-Jokes.com and rated it again. Problem antijokes?

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. The ocean is inanimate and therefore incapable of speech.

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The world blows up and everyone except for one man and his house make it out alive "Knock knock" "Whos there?" "Me" "Me who?" "Ummmm, its me, duh" It turns out the man was very bored and decided to go knock on his own door and tell knock knock jokes

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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emma: mat has a quick reaction time

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why did the duck swim upside-down -he was on quack

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i man walks into a bar, he is found dead two days later with severe head trauma.

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What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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What did Washington say to California? WC

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Why was the boy crying? he was so happy his mom bought him a playstation 3

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What trees do fortune tellers look at? Whichever variety of species are indigenous to where they live.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

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so how about that irline food

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Why didn't the black man make it into heaven? No one did, there is no evidence supporting the existence of an afterlife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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