A woman tells her boyfriend that shes going shopping. Later that day the boyfriend sees her in an alley giving a blow job to a stranger so he says "What are you doing here?"

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 went to war and when he came back, he was really messed up. One day he took 2 into a dark alley and beat him up really badly. Now, it's not just 6 who is afraid, but everyone.

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Easy, you get a phone with a recorder that rather than playing a "please leave a message after the tone", plays the same tune as if the phone was still not picked up. Now tell me here and now, because I wont waste more time on you, what part did you play in this? Jenny Chatterton? Another one of your pseudonyms? What the fuck did you think would happen? You live in the Uk, london, so, tell me everything, or I will share every single detail here.

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Q: What's red, pink and spins round and round? A: A baby in a blender Q2: What's red, pink, green, and smells bad? A2: The same baby 2 weeks later

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Why did Bob throw butter out the window, Because he is mentally retarded.

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Why was the kid hungry? Because he lived in Africa.

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What's white, wet, and sticky? A tissue that I just blew my nose with.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue Poems don't have to rhyme

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Casey Anthony kills a baby

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What's hairy and sags? A ball sack

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Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

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whats the stage after cancer? you die

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Hitler.. Hitlar... Hillar... Hillary Clinton

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Kitana vs Shao Kahn. Kitana: HIAHIAHIAHIA...etc Kahn: You weak pathetic whor... OARGH! Kahn: FINISH ME!!! Kitana: Dad? Again? Okay the last time then... Kahn: I just addopted you you FUC... Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh... OOF!! OFF!! OFF!! OFF! Kitana: *slurp okay no more for you I am uh... full, seriously, Ill explode or some other Fatality... Woody Allenality... Kahn: Kontinue? (press start to kontinue free play mode)

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What did one traffic light say to the other? Nothing, as traffic lights are incapable of thought as they are not living.

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Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

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Why did the Japanese boy drop his sushi? He was hit by a tsunami

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What do you get when you take a bag of chips and divide it by 5? a Nike store worker's meal

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whats worse than the holocaust ? ms.brinkmann? noo close....a black guy trying toget a job.

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I like the color potato.

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What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and can drive a woman crazy? Money

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roses are red violets are blue my dick hurts blue waffles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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