What is the best anti joke? Dunno cant think of one

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who wants to hear a joke about the broken pencil? to late, its sharpened

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? lts of stuff like murder, rape, slavery, poverty, mindcontrol, mass genocide, the holocaust, racism, plagarism, physichal assault, war, terrorism, massacres, onsloughts, necrophillia, the dead rising, zombies, jokes on antijokes.com, awkward situations, dieing, cancer, ADHD, other mental illnesses, paint, the grim reaper, shinigami, stereotyping foreigners, prejudicism, bullying, armed robbery, hacking, viruses, incest, feral animals, getting lost in the forest, arsonry, pyromania, passing out in a bar, meeting a serial killer, and finding 2 worms in your apple.

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An albino and a jew walk in to a bar. They both order the same drink and chat for a few minutes before the albino must get home to his wife. The jew leaves shortly after, tipping the bar tender a generous amount for his superb service.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? An ak-47

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A. THERE'S SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE B. WHAT?!? *PUNCH* A. IT WAS PAINNNNNNNNN

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How many dead babies can fit in the trunk of my car? Seven.

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What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

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hickory dickory dock no one cares

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Whats better than sex? Not dying. Ha

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Whats worse than peeing blood? Dying.

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What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and floats? Nothing, its rude to make fun of disabilities.

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Knock Knock Who's there? UPS you have a package from Amazon. \ Oh, Thanks, where do I sign? Right here. Ok, thanks, have a nice day. Thanks you too.

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You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

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What's worst then finding an worm in your apple. Finding a colony of flesh eating bugs after you toke a bite.

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What did one traffic light say to the other? Nothing, as traffic lights are incapable of thought as they are not living.

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Kitana vs Shao Kahn. Kitana: HIAHIAHIAHIA...etc Kahn: You weak pathetic whor... OARGH! Kahn: FINISH ME!!! Kitana: Dad? Again? Okay the last time then... Kahn: I just addopted you you FUC... Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh... OOF!! OFF!! OFF!! OFF! Kitana: *slurp okay no more for you I am uh... full, seriously, Ill explode or some other Fatality... Woody Allenality... Kahn: Kontinue? (press start to kontinue free play mode)

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What's white, wet, and sticky? A tissue that I just blew my nose with.

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Hitler.. Hitlar... Hillar... Hillary Clinton

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What's hairy and sags? A ball sack

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Why was the kid hungry? Because he lived in Africa.

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Casey Anthony kills a baby

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Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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