Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came her food allergies and she died

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A blond walks into an electronics store. Then she promptly walks out, as she got the wrong store.

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock. whos there? not suzy.

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roses r nice violet are fine all be the 6 and you be 9

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What do you call a guy who accidentally cut off his hand in a blender? Stupid.

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Fill in the blank: Hello my name is ___, and today I would like to ask you why you put your real name in the blank? Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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Why was the youtube like bar green? Because the graphics designer felt like making it green. =.=

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What's green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A pool table in a tree

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Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory because she kept throwing away the w's

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* Why is this dog barking? * Because he's a dog, if he were a cat it would meow.

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why did the woman get electricuted? because there was an electric fence around the kitchen.

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Why did the Hindu eat the Mongolian? He tried, the Mongolian raped him.

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What did dick Cheney say to his friend that he accidentally shot in the face while quail hunting? Sorry for shooting you in the face

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Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

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Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

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Are you trolling with me? I mean how can you know where I live if you have not even picked up the phone yet? Listen, if you wanted to make me upset, you did it okay? You won, I like you a lot and I would never do such a thing. I understand you being upset Nero, I am so sorry, I never meant nor wanted for this to happen, I hope you can forgive me someday.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is notified, and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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Person 1:why did the person fart Person 2: wh.... Person 1:shut up I'm not interested any more! Btw person 2 got interrupted

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

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Why can't the children hug his father? Because his father is dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted better pay.

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A priest was walking home from church one day when he found a young boy crouching naked in the bushes. The priest contacted local law enforcement authorities on his cell phone and proceeded home once they arrived.

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Huffing glue only becomes a problem when you get stuck on it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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