How many women does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Usually just one, and a ladder.

Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

what do you call 2 walking Arabs with long beards? pedestrians.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

Q: what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? A: A very unfortunate individual.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Mets.

What do you call a cow without legs? Disabled.

Arrow in the Knee!

Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and can drive a woman crazy? Money

What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

Why was the bus driver sad? The kid with the icecream had c4 strapped to his chest.

What did the fat girl use on Wii Fit? Cheat Codes.

What did one fat chick say to the other fat chick? Who cares, they're fat.

Why didn't the cat eat its dinner? Because I nailed its head to the floor.

What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

Why did the chicken cross the road? This website is terrible. Are you servers from 1990? I hope you all get cancer.

my great great grandpa ryan the rattlesnake had a cat named dog-

Why is the young Chinese boy crying? Because he is being raped.

What's blue? The sky.

you go up your hole down your hole between your hole and you rock and roll

Martin Skrtel walks into a bar The bar breaks, Martin then pays for any damages caused

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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