A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are green,violets are blue,i'm high as ****,is that perfume or glue?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Gary have severe learning difficulties? Because his mother drank a lot of alcohol while she was pregnant, and it harmed his development significantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Yo momma's so fat, however, she takes pride in her size because every body is beautiful.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If i open this door you can go trough it

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do chicken and babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What does an Asian do in a library in his school? Write one of these.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Because she has down's syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the collage professor say to the plumber? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black. All credit goes to Caravel.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did george washington not make it to the prom? because george washington is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats funny? this joke. just kidding. your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? None, for the task at hand is so simple, you should do it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

One dog says to the other dog "Nice day, isn't it?" The other dog says "You can talk!?"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

autsim

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Ian: Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk. Dan: Yea, and when that didn't work she hanged herself.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops