What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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guys cmon dont make fun about abbie make fun of josh brown WHAT A NOOB

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Q: What is green, has red shoes, exists in videogames and runs really really fast while collecting rings, running trough loops, has a fox sidekick etc? A: Sonic The Hedgefrog. Moral: I was always a bigger fan of Super Fratelli Brothers though...

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Knock Knock Who's There? A rapist

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Just think...there are 7 billion people in the world...so that's 14 billion orgasms!

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What is red and ragging? A Hemorrhoid

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

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Why did the man have no friends? He mudered and ate someone in '86 and is rotting in prison.

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how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

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Many people believe that dogs are mammals. They're right

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I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had Down-Syndrome.

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Q: why did the prisoner drop his soap? A: easy sex

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Why was the hiker upset? He was plummeting 1,500 feet to the ground after tripping on a rock too close to a cliff.

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Whats green and has wheels? A green car.

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What did the woman say just before she was stabbed eleven times in the chest thus killing her? Nothing, she had been gagged.

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Two attractive women were getting ready to visit the gym. On the way there, they stopped at a local sports store to purchase some new shorts, and they got it at a good discount price

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Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

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twenty three roaches walk into a bar. the bar is evacuated due to insects.

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yo momma is so stupid, she probably in in the bottom 1% of her age group

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When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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