what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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How do you kill a blonde girl? You put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a filled pool.

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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Q.Whats the differents between justin bieber and a girl A.Nothing

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follow @nils_kosmo on twatter hehe

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What did the shy guy say at the speech? Nothing

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What's the one good thing about being a paraplegic? Nothing.

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roses are red violets are blue I hear a bus...

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What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

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What's black and hangs from trees? Tire swings

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Ryan Holden is a faggot.

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Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

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what is the difference between a bucket of shit and a black person? the bucket the bucket

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The speakers on my computer were broken, so I was going to replace them with John Boehner. Because he is the SPEAKER of the house.

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What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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what is brown and wet? Muddy water

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Q: What's funny about a gay man being raped by men for being gay? A: The man's personality

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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Nope, I mean you can try, but my phone is busted and the code on the chip my galpal here managed to finally get into the cell, has sixteen digits so damn small that none of us can read it,

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because Your mother said so. Now get a life and get off this website young fellas.

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

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How many jews does it take to change a baby's diper? I don't know my wife will do it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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