How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

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why are jews so cash hungry? because like the rest of us they are looking for a way to survive and feed their family.

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What did the father say to his gay son? "Finish your homework."

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's white and sticky? A stick painted white.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing Because she had no arms

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what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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What do you do if you have a worm in your apple you throw it away

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Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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:) Hey AMBY VALENT! Want to join our horsehead show below?? *Laughing track with that fat loud bitch that wont stop laughing making the actors stare at each other like douches* :/ Muuh, I dont really care im just some meh character anyway so yuh...' *Laughing track* ? ???? ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA! :( Hey get outta our show here you China man! *OOOH! Track plays with some fa*ott whistling* ? ???? | Baka! *leaves* *Awww track plays* *Laughing track*

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What is the difference between a rabbit and a plum? A: They are both purple, except for the rabbit!

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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How do you annoy a farmer? Shoot his wife.

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What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

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Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

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What animal has four legs and one hand? Happy rottweiler

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Whats slippery and wet? A wet slipper.

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I hate cripple jokes! I just can't stand them!

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Where did Susie go when the bomb went of? Everywhere?

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Last Christmas I gave you my pie but the very next day you put it in your tummay. Now your dead because I poisoned the pie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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