How did Darth Vader make the little black boy's day? "I am your father"*heavy breath, heavy breath*

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Why did the tortoise cross the road? To get to the other side.

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why did corey cross the road? the green man flashed.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS.

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What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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An ant walks into a bar. Nobody Notices...

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a preist sees a rabbi on the street while taking a walk. he says hi and proceeds to have a nice conversation as they are good friends despite their religous differences

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Q. how to kill the germ on a food. A. wash it with bleach.

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Asians

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not finding a worm in your apple, i quite like them actualy

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Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

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My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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Who ya gonna call? ... Whoever you need to talk to at the current time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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What can fly? Lots of things

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like your mom Give me some glue

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knock knock... who's there? your grandmother, now please let me in it's very cold outside. *you now proceed to open the door for your grandmother as she is elderly and you dont want her to freeze

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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Lisa: Omg Karen, just had sex with Ben, his weiner was sooo tiny lol. Ben: I think you sent me the wrong text.

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I once had my heart broken by my first true love. I then died, she was convicted of murder and my family grieved over my death.

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Q: How do you make Helen Keller cry? A: Casually remind her that she is both blind and deaf.

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Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops