What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

What did the doctor say to his patient? You were supposed to die 12 seconds ago....

Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize? Cos he was out standing in his field!

A woman was at a family reunion and her husband's mother walked in. She has a chocolate allergy so the woman says the her husband,"I need more chocolate!"

An Artic Storm.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know but you're a sick person even thinking about it.

Why did the black person eat fried chicken Because fried chicken tends to be an abundant food in the African American community and that was the quickest and cheapest weekend afternoon food source nearest to his house. It is also found in many other communities throughout the country and even the world. Oh yeah, he was hungry

How do you make a plumber mad? You tell him that his princess is in another castle about a thousand times over 25 years.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

this site is an antijoke

What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

okay so one time my dog was eating an octopus tail and i was all like...Bro! octopus are our friends dont eat them! then he was all like okay...so later i saw my goldfish eating a blue kangaroo and i was all like bro blue kangaroos are our friends dont eat them and she was all like okay.. so then i saw my sandwich eating itself and i was like bro...let me eat you instead! and it was like okay. then i saw a bear eating you so i was like bro....thats all i said before it ate both of us :( and thats the story of why i have 6 toes on my left buttcheek

Why couldn't the man read? Because he was illiterate

One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax.

2 Penises

What happens when a guy walk into a school and shoots kids? Oh sorry, to soon?

How many girls does ittake to screw in a lightbulb? Doesnt matter as long as dinner is on the table by 6:00

what do u call a 7th grade ninga joe waldeaker the sarah freek

Whats funnier than Steven Yuhasz being Straight? Womens Rights.

What did the Norwegian say to the Englisman? ØLølølølÅæåøåæøåæåæåæåæåæåæåæå

Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like poems What rhymes with poem?

Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

knock knock whos there ben ben who ben ages since i seen you !!! vote this up please or a unicorn will die , unicorns are not real , but a moth can ride bikes so please vote this down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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