why was the carrot sad? it was stuck in an antelopes anus

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Three Kids dressed as a bear, a chicken, and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender asks the to leave as they are all under the legal drinking age.

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Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes?

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A priest, a minister and a rabbit were seated next to each other on an airplane. They all had to pay for lunch.

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1-1 was a race horse, 1-2 was one too, 1-1 won one once and 1-2 won one too

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

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Q: why did the train not make it to the station? A: it crashed and killed everybody on board.

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Whats worse than a bullet in the head? i have no idea, i have never been shot in the head so i'm not sure what to compare it to.

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What happens when a black guy jumps you? Well its no diffrent to when anyone else jumps you!

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America's Got Talent WIN! Britian's Got Talent WIN! Mexico's Got Talent WTF!

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What did the the girl say to the deaf boy after he asked her out? He doesn't know

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Q:How meny jews can u fit in a mini? A:5 in the seats and 1 million in the ashtray.

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how did the blonde get a concussion? she didnt see the pole in front of her.

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Did you hear about that superman guy? He died.

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Your momma is so old that she might die soon!

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How many Nazis does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Their domestic handiness was not impeded by their warped sense of entitlement and racial superiority.

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What do you call a horse with no legs? Useless.

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What's black and always in the back of a cop car? The seat.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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To (down) Below: BAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LOLOLOL! MWAHAHAHAHA HOHOHOHO HEEEEEEEEEEHEEEEEEEHEEEEEEE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAHAHA... Man I cant breathe! YUCK YUCK YUCK! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! AHAHA! HOHOHOHOHOHO HAHAHAHAHA!

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What do you get when you cross a leopard with a camel? Sacked from the zoo.

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The adventures of Helen Keller:

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I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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