What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

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How do you fit four gay men on a bar stool? You build an exceptionally large bar stool

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A man walked into his house to find that his wife was cheating on him with another man. He was furious, and killed himself

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A white man, a black man, and a mexican are stranded on an island. They all died.

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I've had Alzheimer's for as long as I can remember... So since yesterday.... CHAYOTE ASTRONAUT SPACE SAY WHAT?!?!?!

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What did Helen Keller name her pet dog? dfhiwueghweigw

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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A Jew and a Nazi walk into a bar... 1 year later they are married with a baby on the way

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What's black, white, and red all over??? A penguin in a blender.

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What did Batman tell Robin before he got into the Batmobile? "Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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Q:What's better than getting 500 million dollars A:Nothing

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Q.What did the German say when he walked into the bar? A.Ich möchte ein Bier bitte. Das würde mich viel besser fühlen. Meine Frau ist gerade gestorben, weil ich sie zu Tode prügeln, und ich bin ein Alkoholiker.

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What did the old man say to kid who was begging to his mommy? Shut up.

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What do you get when you cross George Bush and Barack Obama? Presidents.

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What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? A godless abomination that violates every ethical standard known to man.

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Why did the hot blonde strip down? So she can take a shower

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second muffin and says "OH MY GOD I CAN TALK!" the second muffin is so shaken in its beliefe system by a talking muffin that it commits suicide.

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I like it, I like it becuase it is cream

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uh uh uh uh .... oh i swallowed my gum

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Yo' Mommas so poor, She has to ask close family friends and relatives for money so she can feed you.

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? Whatever their name is.

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roses are red violet is blue sugar is sweet f*ck you im a moon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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