Why did 16-year-old girl scream in the basement? She was being raped.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The doorbell wasn't working.

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What's the only thing a Black Hole can't absorb? Nothing. It absorbs everything, even light.

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A lion walks in to a bar, and murders everyone inside. This is why animals are not aloud in bars.

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What did tarzan say when he saw the elephants? Here come the elephants

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I'm not saying your mom's ugly, but I like pancakes.

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top kek

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Hey, I just met you... No, I'm your brother. You've known me for 30 years. You must have memory loss.

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Whats white and bad for your teeth? A refridgerator

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What do you call a black man? Black

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Why weren't the two gays invited to the office party? Because there is no office party until december, therefor no one was invited.

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What happened when the woman sent back the pair of shoes she bought on eBay? She obtained a refund from the seller under eBay's return policy.

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This is like another one: Terry is at work eating a cookie.. He drops his cookie. His co worker trys to pick it up, however he accidently stands on it. Turns out terry can keep a grudge, nine years later, he killed his co worker with a shovel.

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This sentence is not humorous in any fashion whatsoever.

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What was that pirate movie rated? PG-13

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Statistically 9/11 Americans wont get this joke. But 7/7 British will.

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if ruddell was gay what would he be? a gay prick

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At home, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 10 mins, it's 3:30. At school, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 20 mins, it's 3:40 and schools been finished for ten minutes.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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what happens when a dog and a cat have sex? They create a beautiful baby that ends up dieing from cancer.

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why was the boy sad? because his penis was stapled to a coffee table

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What did the prostitute get for Christmas Money

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What is worse than getting a bad grade on a test. Having your family dog bled out in front of you, bitch.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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