why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

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What do you call a person mowing a lawn? A Mexican

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What did Valerie get for her birthday? Nothing. Because no one loves her

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How could you wake up Lady Gaga? poke her face

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What are the seven wonders of Kentuky cows,drugs,liquor,moutain due,moster trucks,shot guns and trucks oh and I for got Crackle barrle.

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So three Jews walk into a Biker Bar. Despite the fact that is was a self-proclaimed "Biker Bar", the group of men inside were in fact rather open-minded, and had no issues with new members. They had a rich conversation, and frequented the bar thereafter.

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I think I am done here friend, it always comes to this, it has always been easier for me to repair whatever is wrong with others and get my kicks out of that, as I know I can and will repair everything wrong with myself, but its hard as hell, I mean I never give up, ever. But that does not change the fact that I am broken, and that simply deciding that I am not, is far from enough, its a choice indeed, but its like deciding to constantly walk trough hell, and sometimes that hell is also called living, that too is always a choice, And believe me, I would never quit, I guess that if this hell I struggle trough has so many nice things in it, it just feels like hell at times. I mean the main motivation behind my ability to help others, has always been searching for answers low and high, and when what I have learned trough life helps others, but barely scratches the surface of the armor I am confined within, I lose hope, do you believe that my desire to help humanity grow, derived from my own incompetence at curing myself?

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People just dont care about me, yesterday I got a coconut in my head and... AWWWW thats horrible! Yeah I... So did the coconut make it?

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What's brown, no one likes and has had a bad history? Dog poop

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wait, what? huh

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The grandfather's grandson said, "They charged me $10 just for a cup of coffee!" The grandfather said, "They charged me with bayonets."

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There are two kinds of people in this world: those that finish their sentences

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What's worse than getting a flat tire on a date? getting one while rushing your dying grandfather to the hospital.

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Q-"what did the carrot say to the plant" A-"nothing because neither one of these objects can talk"

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Pain Olympics.

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your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it shows that she is overwhieght

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Q- what did the magician say after the sawed the woman in half ? A- call an ambulance !

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Why was the girl so stupid? She had mental retardation caused my Down Syndrome.

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What does a Jew do when he finds money on the street? He picks it up and is probably happy it was there.

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Do you need a life...? You can borrow mine! lol JUBIE! :()

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Why did Alex fall off the swing? he had no arms

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What's the difference between a black businessman and a white businessman? Their skin colour.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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roses are red violets are blue

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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