Ben has 3 apples and Charlie has 2 apples, how many carrots can fit in my anus? Banana, because cows have 4 legs

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats red, brown and blown up? a hampster in a microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock Who's There? Dave Dave, who? Jerry, just let me in already Two months later, Dave was convicted on charges of home invasion and the murder of Jerry Jones without bail.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you order when it's a sunday in nyc during a solar eclipse on a leap year past 12:00 pm? what ever you like

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +1

banana

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What do you call a girl who wears a tuxedo to prom? A: Comfortable with the way she looks.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did little Lisa fall off the swings? She had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? Hope.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you get a cat off a swing? You throw a dog at it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A boy says he is going to commit suicide. To stop him, a friend tells him not to do it, he'll regret it later in life.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats small and tickles? pubic lice

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two elephants in a bathtub, one says, "Pass the soap." The other one says, "No soap. Radio?"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened to the baby in the microwave? I don't really remember, I was too busy jacking off.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the spider cross the road? He was stuck to the bottom of my shoe!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was patrick sad? he was raped then murdered then super raped

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you catch wet wood on fire? Ask a business owner in Ferguson, MO, to keep it in their store.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said, "No change. He's likely to die, too."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a group of jews went to a factory to apply for jobs. Only one came out.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the cow cross the road? Cause it wanted to. Why di the chicken cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the cow's face.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Bruce Forsith's energy and charisma.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the black man get for Kwanza? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a mole and dynamite? - Moles don't explode... unless you fill them with dynamite.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops