How do you get an annoying baby to shut up? Hit it with a bat

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Why did danielle drop her ice cream cone? Because she was diabetic and had a blood sugar of 5.

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The $5.00 Foot-long at Subway's is actually $5.45 due to tax.

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Is a tomato a vegetable? Depends if it is comatose.

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what's worse than fining out that the best and worst jokes on anti-joke.com are about the Holocaust The Holocaust

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so a girl asks a guy: "if a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" the guy responds: "trees dont grow in the kitchen, so you shouldnt be worried about it."

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT? roger rabbit while hilarious, was an idiot and framed himself....mind F***.

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How many Asians did it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1 Asians are just like every one else

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Why did John McCain lose the election? He did not get as many votes as Barack Obama.

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who let the dogs out my mom because they're fat and need exercise

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Chuck Norris will inevitably pass away sometime in the future.

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What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? You would still call them the Flintsones

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What's the longest word in the English language? Tuna. (I lied about it being the longest word in the language.)

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How do you scare a Jew Hold your lighter up and blow out the flame and I've toward him real slowly and see how much drama he'll cause

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'Why the long face?' The horse replies 'I've got AIDS.'

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Whats the difference between black and white. Nothing they're both colors.

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split your ass cheek

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why did the chicken go to the man? TO ask if he wants sex for money

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What's wrong with Barney? He's big and purple.

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9/11.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it's not gonna

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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