Why was little georgia afraid of the tea cup ? Because she was tripping over the holocaust.

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that awkward moment when your teachers a duck

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Mom I am so sorry I molested you yesterday. Im not your mom! Phew, wanna go out?

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Why did the black 10 year old miss school? Because his grandmother just had a severe heart attack and the whole family is coming in to visit and pay their last respects.

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God

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What's blue, and smells like fish? A firetruck, I was kidding about the blue and fish.

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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Why did the girl lie to the priest? because she didn't want to tell him the truth

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Police. Your family is dead...

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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A man walks into a bar.....he then slips on an ice-cube and suffers massive trauma due to the fall. The owner is sued by the mans family and subsequently loses his business. He can no longer provide for his family. His wife is two weeks away from giving birth to their third child.

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What is worse than blue balls for a guy? Depending on the girl, absolutely nothing. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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#Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Catherine of Aragon was one. # She failed to give him a son #He had to ask her for a divorce. #That broke her poor heart of course. #Young Anne Boleyn, she was two #Had a daughter, the best she could do #He said she flirted with some other man #And off with the chop, went dear Anne! #Lovely Jane Seymour was three! #The love of his lifetime indeed! #She gave him a son #Little Price Ed #Then poor old Jane...went and dropped dead! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! #He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Anne of Cleeves came at four #He fell for the portrait he saw! #But laid eyes on her face, and cried #SHE'S A HORSE! I MUST HAVE ANOTHER DIVORCE! #Catherine Howard was five #A child of nineteen, so alive #She flirted with others, no way to behave #The AXE sent young Cath to her grave! #Catherine Parr, she was last #By then all his best days were past #He lay on his death bed, aged just fifty-five! #Lucky Catherine- the last stayed alive! #I mean, how unfair! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #You could say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! And the moral of the story is: Never buy a car without knowing it's background.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? It's Jeff. Hi there Jeff, come in, the doors open.

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Knock Knock! Come in the door is unlocked. I have cookies!

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Why do we need to keep answering encryption codes? Because you can't keep a good Jew down (Wyndellberg)

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What do you call a blind person? Mack Despard

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Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? The joker was raping robin too hard

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Q: How did the black man own the Lamborgini? A: He was 2 Chainz.

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What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

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why am I writing this...im bored

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly my dick down your throat.

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I like U.............................nicorns :D

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Alzheimer's Roses are Red

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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