What is the difference between a motorcycle and a football? 42, because ice cream has no bones.

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i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

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Knock, Knock ...

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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a guy fell off a roof of a mansion he died his family cried F.Y.I i have Alzheimers toilet monster

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Q: why did the cookie go to the doctor??? A: because he was sick

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What did winter say to summer? Nothing. Seasons are physically incapable of speaking because they are not living things. They are simply an idea made by humans to explain why the weather changes as the sun spins around the earth.

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What's worse then an adult dying A baby dying

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Q: What is black, white and red all over? A: Interracial sex during the time which the bible has decreed as abhoration.

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Whats the diffetance between a river and a waterfall? One is vertical!??

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what does a squid and a worm have in commen they both are animals

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Roses are Red ?And sometimes yellow ? My mother is mellow ? Billy you have cancer ?

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-knock knock! -doors open

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A white man, a black man, and a Hispanic man are in car, who is driving? The black man, it's his car.

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Q: What does a baby and an old man have in common? A: They both pee in public

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1d

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Q: What's brown and looks like a weasel? A: A weasel.

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hello? knock knock. you called me, why are you saying knock knock?

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What was the leg less and armless mans favorite type of music? Nubstep

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Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

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Why does Santa Clause not have children? Because he only "comes" once a year

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daisies are yellow Trust me, I'm a florist.

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Yo mama's so fat, that we are all extremely concerned for her health.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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