Three moose were in the middle of the road. They were then shot by a maniac hunter.

Why are some people so awesome? Because their black.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing Jenga on September 11th.

How do you stop a baby from crying? You hit it with an axe.

Steven Hawking walks into a bar. That is highly improbable, due to the fact he is in a wheelchair.

When life gives you lemons... Be thankful you're not starving, a**hole.

Womens' sports

what's worse than being attacked by a giant ant? being attacked by two giant ants

roses are red and violets are in fact violet

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm chuck norris. And I approve of this message.

2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, a dead baby is a horrible sight and shouldn't be laughed at.

What was the babies first word? Nothing: It was a still-born.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

What's worse than getting a bruise? AIDS.

What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? A pilot.

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

A man walks into a bar, and immediately sees a person with a big orange head seated near the back. He asked the bartender "why does that man have a big orange head?" "Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell you." So the man bought him a drink and asked the guy with the big orange head why he has a big orange head, and he told him this story: "I was traveling in the sahara desert 10 years ago when I found a pure gold lamp in the sand. I rubbed the sand off so I could read what was on the side when a genie popped out and gave me 3 wishes. First I wished for many riches, and at once gold was all around my feet. Exited, I wished for the most beautiful wife in the world, and right in front of me appeared the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Third, I wished for a big orange head.

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Why did the man rape the woman? He had a lapse in judgement.

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

how many babies dose it take to paint a fence it depends on how hard you throw them

My mother has chlamydia. That's it.

What do you call a man who eats another man? An man eater.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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