What has two legs, takes away your money, and causes depression? A Democrat.

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A: what does hellen keller say to her mom? B: nothing. she cant speak due to her lack of hearing and visualizing

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He looks it up first to make sure he's got it right before dialing.

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Why was a small girl found dead in the town park? Because Sallie was a bitch and deserved to die.

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Why did the lightbulb go out? It was on too long

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What did the girl say to the mute? "Why are you so quiet?" How did the mute respond? He flipped her off.

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Who's Italian and plays with a peach? Mario

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Why was the Cubs fan sad? His wife just left him.

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Two children decide to bury a time capsule in their backyard and open it 5 years later. They then break into tears realizing they have no backyard because they are orphans. They are now orange.

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what's white and sticky? mayonnaise.

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Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

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Row row row your boat Right to KFC Put some kool-aid in your cup And toast to you and me

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got hitted by a drunken driver and died last week, when he was cycling to school.

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What did OJ Simpson say to the blonde? "Don't worry, I'm not going to murder you"

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldnt she get up? She had no legs. Knock Knock. Whos There? Not Suzie

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When im invisible you cant see me, i know

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Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

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What did the pear say to the plum? Nobody knows - the plum was deaf and didn't hear, the pear knows only dirty words in sign language, and there was nobody else around to overhear.

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I like big butts and I cannot lie. You don't know that. I may enjoy skinny butts. I may be lying.

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What is the difference between ashes and a jew? A lot

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Do you have ass-thma? Coz your ass is taking my breath away

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? He wanted to make breakfast

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Have you ever seen Hellen Keller's house? Well it was really nice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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