What did Joan of Arc have for her last meal? Steak

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A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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How do you stop a charging rhinocerous? Nuke africa.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because blind people aren't allowed to drive in the United States.

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What do you do when life hands you lemons? Go home, look for the ingredients on which to make proper, delicious lemonade. Afterward, I would go in the front yard, make a stand, then make a sign that says $1.00 lemonade. Then you know make millions on your master-mind plan that no one else ever thought of.

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Why did the man suddenly burst into flames in room. The room was dark, so he lit a match. It turns out there was hydrogen in the room and when fire touches hydrogen, it sets on fire.

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I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue At least that's what I've been told But honestly I've never seen those flowers so I wouldn't know.

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Why did the milk man cry? Cause you killed his family.

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a light bulb? blacks don't work

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkly? Because if they were small, round, and white, they would be called 'asprin'.

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charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your family is dead. Your family is dead, who? Your family is dead.

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What's silent but deadly? Limnic Eruption.

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you know whats better than lemonade? sex

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

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Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

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A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

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Why couldn't the black man swim. Because he had never been taught.

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Why was the school field trip cancelled? The Holocaust.

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yo momma so fat. that shes fat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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