What did one computer say to the other? 100111010100100111001010010001110101110010100010101011010011010010111000010101100100100100001101010000011111010010011010100110101001010100101010101010100101011010010010101010110010110010100100010101010101010

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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how do you make a mailman mad? you sleep with his wife

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Whats your name? Bill. I have a son named Kevin.

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Knock knock. Come in.

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"Did you eat your veggies?" asked the shark, sarcastically.

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Why are Asians so good at mathematics? Practice.

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You know what they say about men with big feet? Big penis.

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sit on your hand until it goes numb and then touch yourself.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, I am color blind.

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A married couple lies in bed, making out. They must really love each other.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

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A blode takes a trip to her favorite restaurant. She arrives safely. After consuming a delicious meal she dies of cancer.

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What did the little boy say after he was pushed off the cliff? Nothing. He died, therefore, he is incapable of speaking.

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What did the dog say to the mouse? Cat

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Doctor: "I'm sorry, but your son has Hepatitis B. Asian Parent: "Why he has Hepatitis B? Why he not get the Hepatitis A plus?"

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What's big, black and hard to swallow? A bowling ball.

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Q: Ask me how far have you gone with a girl? A: Mexico

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Cleveland winning something

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Roses are red I have a phone,no texts me am forever alone~The Jokers

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Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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There are 100 men enjoying a cruise to celebrate an important contract going through at their place of employment. The boat then suffers a major malfunction and tragically sinks to the bottom of the ocean, miles from any land masses. Not a single man died, how is this possible? They all used the lifeboats supplied on the boat and followed the standard procedure to deal with such a crisis.

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Waht do chinease people and gambling machines have in common? They both say chink chink chink chink chink chinck

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How do you stop someone from simply copying an already posted anti-joke? No, seriously, how do you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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