In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

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How many chickens did Moses bring to the ark? 2

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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ERROR 3045: This joke has gone bankrupt and Is laying in the hospital//:: THE CAUSE: OBAMA CARE

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Like this if you want people to stop asking to have their jokes liked.

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whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

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Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

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Q: What did the Jew get for Christmas? A: Nothing you dumbass, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

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roses are red violets are blue kyle brown and pj nosaki have big balls

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what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

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An Asian walks into a bar with his girlfriend He proceeds to buy himself and her food Pays Then leaves

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What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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Why did a man throw butter out the window ? So he could see butter fly and then realized that there was one on window cil

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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