You are joking right?

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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Yo momma is so ugly that she should probably consider suicide

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What do you get when a sister and a brother have sex? A deformed child.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To rape the girl on the other side.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

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Remember Y2K? That could have been bad.

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Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is both blind and deaf, and doing so would put others in danger.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not quite sure, but I just realized that my new pair of boxer briefs has ripped along the seam. Oh, and earlier this morning, I stubbed my toe pretty bad. The nail is all purple and the toe is all swollen, it was bleeding profusely until I put three bandages over the wound. It's still throbbing with pain. Oh, and also, a few months ago, I lost my job. It wasn't because I was constantly late or anything, it was more because as a server, I had been required to lift trays and stand and walk for the entirety of my shift. The only problem is, that about a year ago, I was involved in a serious car accident (once again, an occurrence that had not been due to my own actions). This car accident severed my spine in the L5 region. I can now barely walk for long periods of time, I find it impossible to run, I can no longer play sports and enjoy being a 21 year old male. I am in constant pain and it affects my breathing, my legs, the rest of my back, and also my teeth (due to the neurological connections dealing with the spinal cord). I am now currently looking for a new job, a more suitable job, to help sustain my hectic lifestyle. No, it is not a lifestyle of parties and what not, it is merely the lifestyle of living under roof and owning a used car. I have an alcoholic mother and my childhood was devoid a father. I raised myself, and to this day, I still have no family to help me through my financial struggles. I need nearly 2000 dollars in less than a week in order to pay all my bills, have my car fixed, and eat for another month. The only problem is, I have a dollar and 58 cents to my name. I wish I was this chicken, crossing roads, and what not, not just to get to the other side, but to live a better life. But, one can only wish.

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A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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What did the elf say to Santa I'm not making any more toys fat ass.

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My friends told me they found a dead women....they said they pissed on her........that was my mom

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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why did the black man start crying? because his ancestors were treated horribly

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Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

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Why did The white man loose his black friend? Because he ran away.

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A Christian and an atheist are in a bar. Neither one knows the other's religion and they continue to drink.

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Why did the girls hair catch on fire her neighbor bullied her

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Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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So a bar walks into a man...

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What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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