Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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Why did the bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

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Why couldn't Jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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What's black and red? I black guy bleeding to death

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What's worse than being hit with a falling brick? Being hit with many falling bricks. -ilikecrepes97

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

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Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

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i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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So a blonde, brunete, and red head are all on the side of the road for prostitution. so a man walks up to the red head with money. she takes it and runs off. a man goes up to the bruenete and hands her money, but she also takes it and runs. so a man walks up to the blond with money and she says "wait...we get paid to do this?"

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What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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Our societal waste doesn't deserve to be called a group. They fail to organize themselves and lack the intelligence to support themselves. Let's call them a collective. Similar to dust, or smarter than them, bacteria.

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What did the Jew say to the German? Yes I would like fries with that.

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Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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What happened to the baby seal who went clubbing? He met a nice woman and contracted HIV from her after engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse after taking her to his flat.

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A Hispanic, a Caucasian, and an African American walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

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Ruebin is Red, Curtis is too. i think i need a sweaty poo

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What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

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Chris Brown walks into a bar. And then is politely asked to leave as the bar owner also happens to be the spokesperson for an anti-domestic violence group.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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