What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

y does byonce sing to the left? because black people have no rights

What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

Where was the Decoration Of Independence Signed? At the bottom.

What did the jew say to the black man? Nothing they were in a mall that got invaded by evil trees.

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

Yo mama so short, she developed a debilitating neck problem from having to look up at people when talking to them.

What do you call a chicken with the head of a shark? A genetic anomaly.

Q: What causes earthquakes? A: Your mother walking.

HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

How do you know when your pizza is ready? When the oven timer goes off, indicating that it is done.

what did one paper football say to the other? did you get flicked off too.

Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

I think my son might be gay. He's started to listen to Justin Bieber, and last week I walked in on him engaging in penetrative anal sex with one of his friends.

A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

WARNING: this is a black joke Why does everybody hate darth vader? he is all black

What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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