What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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Question:Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Answer:Because she had no arms or legs. Question:What did little Susie get for Christmas? Answer: a bike, and cancer Question: what did little Susie get next Christmas? Answer: nothing, she didn't live that long... Knock knock Who's there Not little Susie

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What do you get when you mix 5 bottles of beer, a bottle of vodka, 3 glasses of red wine, and 15 jello shots? Alcohol poisoning.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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HA HA HA HA HAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHYHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA - Bomber

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

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What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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What do you call a deer in the wild? a deer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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