Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally! How did Sally die? She couldn't figure out how to open the fridge

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q2: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2: It was nailed to the first one. Q3: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3: Peer pressure.

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Why did the camel cross the road? He was off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of OZ.

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer what did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that long.

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race-car = rac-ecar

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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A: Knock Knock B: Who's There? Person B came down with a serious case of amnesia that day and can't remember who anyone is.

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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why was six afraid of seven? it's a long story, and six doesn't want to talk about it.

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What did Stephen Hawking say after he scaled Mount Everest? Yay!

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops