So a man is in a car smoking weed when he forgets to crack a window so he over doses and dies. The car crashes and he kills 3 other people.

Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

Guy: I have a penis growing out of my crotch. Girl: Hah, sucks to be you! Guy: Yeah.

Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

Felix? The Lucky cat? That is the only thing that comes to mind, I am dead tired, but I really don't mind staying up until I cant anymore physically, as for mentally I am getting pretty bad as for company.

yo mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

Why did the little girl fall of the swing? Because she had no arms.

What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

Como estan lo que sienta in el tarea de tomo caliente? A. Los sientos! ~ this is why nobody likes Spanish

one morning i turned on my tv

the bible

A pengiuin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

Does Fall come before winter? There is no defiant answer due to the fact that all seasons are in a cycle and our race has no answer to which season happened first on Earth.

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a psychopath

Q: If two lesbians are in a relationship, who makes the sandwiches? A: They both do.

Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

It's likely that very few people will read this.

Why did the angry kid press the button? The button said "press here angry kid"

What has eyes but can not see, and rolls everywhere it goes? A man who fought for your freedom and lost both his eyesight and legs in doing so. Have some respect.

why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

What's grey and can't climb trees? A parking lot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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