A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

Why did the Bruins win against the Flyers? ....they had goal tending.

What do you call a cat without a face ? - Kitty !

why is six afraid of seven? because seven is black

Why are all the dinosaurs extinct? Because you touch yourself at night,

Don't you hate when you finger your belly button and your nipples exploed?

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Someone left the gate open.

What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs waterskiing? Skip

what did the little girl with cancer get for christmas? cancer

What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

Why did the Asian eat so much rice? Because he was hungry.

What did the alcoholic say to the blind man? Nothing. But he beat his wife and kids savagely.

What's short, white, and is sick and tired of your shit? A toilet. What's white and killed Elvis? Also a toilet.

Why did Christopher Columbus sail to America? Because sailing was faster than swimming.

Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

What do you do with a leg less dog? Take him for a drag.

A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

Your mama so stupid She has a 3rd grade education

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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