Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

What do tomatoes, apples, oranges, lemons, and peaches have in common? They are all fruits.

Why couldn't Jesus get a driver's license? Because automobiles did not exist 2000 years ago.

Why did the teenage girl pee on a stick? She and her boyfriend had foolishly engaged in unprotected sex two weeks before, and she was now concerned that she may be pregnant.

Why do people where saggy pants that don't fit? They can't afford too buy new

If I am from Texas, where are you from? You know the answer? HOLY SH*T! YOU ARE A GENIUS!

Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

Why did Jack take a prune out for the evening? A healthy snack as part of a balanced diet.

I was gonna clean my room. But then my mom did it.

Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

What is similar between a dog and a cat? They are both dogs except for the cat.

Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

a tiger swims into the indian ocen and eats a tuna. the tiger shortly dies

What's racecar spelled backwards? Jesus.

Why did the blond paint in the nude? because she couldn't find her clothes, and wanted to express her emotions through art

Your Mamma So Fat The Old Thing That Block's Her From Destroying Kid's Party's Is The Front Door

What did the cat say to the human? Nothing

Man- Where can I find a book on the holocaust Book keeper- Have you tried comedy? Man- no I havent Book keeper- good it won't be there

What comes after 69? 70

If i had a dollar for every time Lindsay Lohan Crashed a vehicle......i would be rich

what do you call a unicorn crossing a bridge? nothing there fake

Whats worst than being raped by a black guy? Being raped by two black guys? You racist i'm calling the police.

mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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