A girl and her friend got into a fight. They both bled to death.

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What did the carrot say to the apple? Sandals

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: A bush, have you ever been dragged through one? It hurts.

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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How do you scare a black man? You dont

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Why did the blonde get a tattoo of her adress on her arm? She never wanted to forget her great childhood at her family home, and she hoped that she would come back some day.

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i look around to find that my air head is missing, i then figure out that i had eaten it.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Well you can't because you are reading this

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Why did the Muslim kill a gay guy? Because the gay guy was threatening his family with a gun.

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Why is Obama Care a lie? Cuz he doesn't care!

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roses are red violets are blue i have 5 fingers the middle ones for you.

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what did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Grggglgluglguggarglegerrrllggglge"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? Because his parents are dead.

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? it was dead

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Why did the room go dark? Somebody turned the lights off

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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What do you call a drunk, blind, deaf monkey driving a car? A bloody good driver!

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What's the worst thing about that Black Jew at the Bus Stop? He's taking a bus to go to his mother's funeral.

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what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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what do you call afish and a cat? a catfish

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when i yell your name i probably want your attention :) S.H.

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What's funny about a dying dog? Nothing.

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Knock Knock Whos There? I'p I'p who? HAHAHAHA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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