Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

If Steve has 5 apples and gives Jenny 2, it is obvious they aren't eating oranges.

The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

What? I didn't say anything. Yes you did.

Billy: Hey hey hey!!!!! wanna hear a dirty joke? Joe: Sure Billy: A pig fell in the mud

What do you you call a mexican that jumped the border? successful

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had AIDS

A muslim, a priest, and a raabi walk into a bar. All three of them agree that it hurt.

I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

What's funnier than an anti-joke? Sarcasm.

What did the jew say to the black man? I'm jewish

What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

what do you call a black man, white man, mexican, irishman, indian, and chinese man being hung at the same time? -a racially diverse pirate crew

One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

Why did the friendly not play outside? Because they were dead. Just like your dreams.

A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

What's black white and red all over? Steegers.

There's a priest, doctor, and blonde on a plane. At the end of the flight they all go their separate ways.

How do you shock a child? Attach a metal pole to them while there is a storm

a man ran into a bar screaming. he now has a severe coma

How do u wake up lady gaga You go into her room and yell at her

What happen to the girl that did the splits. Her legs broke.

i found waldo.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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