What's old and wrinkly? old people

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What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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I love bacon therefor I love people who eat bacon execpt people who eat my bacon then I hate people who eat bacon

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Why did the clam not like to share? The deep sea is a competitive environment, where survival of the fittest is prominent.

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Knock Knock Who's there Boo Boo who Boo I'm a ghost atleast act scared

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Enough Red to share, RAWR! With me only though! But hey, do me a favor wear your glasses not your contact lenses. "That anime" do you watch anime? Or hentai or whatever?

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Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

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What do you call a person without a heart? Not alive.

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A woman is carried out of a bar.

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roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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What's funnier than shooting a moose? The realization that the moose was Sarah Jessica Parker...

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In Pokemon, why are bug types super effective against dark types? Because Ebola affected a lot in Africa.

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I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get him a ladder and help him down.

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I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

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did you know hellen keller had a dog? niether did she

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A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

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Q: How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? A: 2 in the front, 3 in the back and 95 in the ash tray.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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