Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? Yeah..neither did she.

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why couldn't the bicycle stand up on it's own? because it was two tired

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Wanna know way i don't eat grapes? I hate Grapes.

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Your mom showed up at my house last night. I kindly greeted her and asked if I could help her with anything.

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Halt! Who goes there?! It is I, Prince Ali Ba Ba of Yo mamas house. To what do I owe this pleasure of your kindness? I come to you with gifts, relics, and spices. All these can be yours if the price is right. Surely there must be a mistake here. How do you go about by and by without a horse? Are you who you say you are? English mothafucka do you speak it?!!! What is this mothafucka do you speak of? Say what again, I dare you! I double dare you mothafucka say what one more goddddam time. Oh wait stop, hammer time...

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A man went back in time and warned nobody about anything and pretended to be from the time he choose to go to and lived a happy life eventually finding a wife. He later found out he had a baby on the way, he named it after his great grandfather who was a war hero. He later found out that many years later his son had a son and they named it after his grandpa. He went to the hospital where he died just as his grandson had a baby and they named it after his father. The man died. End.

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Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

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Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

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What is White on Top and Black on bottom? Micheal Jackson.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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What do Muslims and Jews have in common? Shared humanity.

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So a crippled guy rolls into a bar..

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Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

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What did the fish want to drink? Charlie Brown

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i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

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What do you call two Japanese men digging through rubble? Worried family members of missing relatives due to the recent devastating tragedy in the island nation of Japan.

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What did the mother say when her sons asked for a can of pop? No you have diabetes.

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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chinga tue madre Ryan

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm going to murder you Did you look behind you?

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Your momma is so fat because she ate alot!

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How many blodnes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Approximately 17. with the addition of 6 brunettes.

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Your momma so fat that she went to the doctor and he told he to cut down on the junk food because she weighs more than the average human being

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What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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