Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head! A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"

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If there's something strange in the neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police, because it's obviously a darky that's up to no good.

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What's the song that goes like, duh duh da duh duh duh da da do?

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Roses are red Im adopted

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Why did the blonde fall down the stairs? Somebody tripped her.

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There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

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Whats worse than one bee? Two bees. Whats worse than two bees? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bees.

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A muslim walks into a airport. He then boards his flight and is flown to his destination.

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okay so one time my dog was eating an octopus tail and i was all like...Bro! octopus are our friends dont eat them! then he was all like okay...so later i saw my goldfish eating a blue kangaroo and i was all like bro blue kangaroos are our friends dont eat them and she was all like okay.. so then i saw my sandwich eating itself and i was like bro...let me eat you instead! and it was like okay. then i saw a bear eating you so i was like bro....thats all i said before it ate both of us :( and thats the story of why i have 6 toes on my left buttcheek

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Your in Thailand on a Elephant ride... at the end you jump off but uncle jack is still on the elephant and the elephant wont let him off.... Do you help your uncle, Jack off the elephant?

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What did one computer say to the other? 01001111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011 0100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 0100000 01101001 01110011 0100000 01101111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011

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3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

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Oh you have herpes? yeah, there's an app for that.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

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Two horses are playing in a field, One says to the other "Hey, sup" they then continue playing.

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"What's your name?" "Josephine." "Josephine?" "No, Josephine." "That's what I said." "I know,"

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? You can't. It's physically impossible.

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If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

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Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A meteor hit the Yucatan Peninsula and caused a blast that covered the earth and killed them all.

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A man walked into a bar, and clutched his stomach in pain as it was a steel bar and it hurts when you walk right into a steel bar.

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how do u drown a blond you put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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Is everything funnier when u have a vagina.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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