Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert. It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert who? Mam, he was in an accident. Could you open the door please?

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My mother has great posture. She's paralyzed from the neck down.

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Q: Why was the prostitute's mouth sore? A: She had multiple cavities due to poor dental hygiene.

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A horse shits himself SHITLESS!

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roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

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If quizzes are quizical, what are tests? Testicals

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how did the little black boy cross the river? he walked over the bridge.

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Why did the boy show off his ps4? Because his mom was rapped and murdered And his dad molested him when he was younger

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? El-if-iknow

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Why was the man "hanging around"? He committed suicide.

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Obama lin Baden.

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I've never seen a zebra use that crossing.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in an apple within a worm inside your apple...

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osama bin laden is dead

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Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

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Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What?

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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A priest, a rabbi and Santa walk into a bar. that's a highly coincidental situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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