How many rich men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, to hire an electrician to do it for him.

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Why was the butcher bald? He was undergoing intensive chemotherapy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why the fuck he crossed the road, I don't know what he is thinking.

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A lonely man walks into a Self-Esteem class. He sits alone in the back because of his low self-esteem. Forever alone.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Did you hear about the Polish couple taking selfies while on vacation in Portugal? They fell off a cliff and died in front of their children. True story.

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Q: How do mentally retarted people read books A: They dont

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the government, your home is being repossessed.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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A chicken crosses the road... Gets fined for jaywalking.

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what do you call a mexican whos lost his car? nothing, nick ate him

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? How would she know? shes blind, deaf and mute; and incapable of knowing what she received.

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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What's big, hard, in the water, and isolated? Shutter Island

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How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? I didn't do it right.

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Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What's worst that cancer? Murder porn

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit halfway by a car.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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roses are red violet is blue why rik go to the hospital ? cause he eat glue.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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