Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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If life gives you melons, you have dyslexia.

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Why did a Jewish man have no hair left? He recently got a haircut.

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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Yes or No? You're wrong because it was both.

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What do you call a remote that does not work? a remote that does not work.

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Cornflakes were an accident, so was Chernobyl

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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Doctor, everybody despises me. That cant be totally true you despicable piece of shite!

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at checkers? Cause he's dead.

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what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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I'm so full I could stop eating.

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who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

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What kind of key can unlock a banana? Basically any key that is sharp enough.

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Hey, guess what. What? ... Hello? Sorry, I don't talk to strangers.

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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A man builds a time machine but can only travel back in time. Where does he go? Irrelevant. Time and space exist on different planes.

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Q: How do you stop a hijacked plane? A: The plane can't be hijacked because the pilots cabin is not accessable until the plane lands.

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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Corn Muffins

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

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Paddy Englishmen, Paddy Irishmen and Paddy Scotsman walk into a bar. They realise that they all share a common name and make a casual joke about it.

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Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

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What are crabs with out the crabs Nothing hahahahaha

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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