A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he had legs.

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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Four blondes are driving to Disneyland, as they finally got to Florida, they read a sign that said "Disneyland: left" so they turned around and headed home.

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Why did Martha Stewart's skin hurt? My friend has a skin condition :( and is dying, skin cancer is not something to make fun of.

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Why did the police officer beat the black man? Because the Internet is able to connect a variety of different types of people together and the off-duty police officer was slightly better at the multiplayer game they were playing.

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How do you creep out a clown? Pet him softly and call him kitty kat while making a guttural sound that is not socially acceptable in mainstream American society.

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Hey man how was the trip to Hiroshima? Great it blew my mind!! And how was Nagasaki ? It was the bomb!!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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Once i was walking down the street when i saw a homeless man As i leant to give him money he jumped up and stabbed me. Now i don't approach drunk strangers with hangovers

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What is big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

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A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

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Yo momma so fat she ate a tape worm which had to be surgically removed because it further increased her health problems. She's still fat.

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How do you treat lice Avoid getting them

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What did the bartender say to the fat guy? Hi

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What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

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If roses weren't RED and violets weren't Blue... Walls are still solid objects.

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So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

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Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

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What's the differnce of victims of Brady and Hindley and a pile of dead babies? Some were born dead and others were raped then killed. Kelvin Yang.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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