What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume

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Knock knock.. Who's there? Breaking. Breaking who? Im breaking up with you.

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What's the difference between a dead Blackman in the road and a dead dog in the road? There's skid marks in front of the dog.

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"Never trust what the internet says." - Abraham Lincoln

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Q: Why did the Asian boy pass the math test? A: By studying with dedication to the field.

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender

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How did Matt stop the robbers? He called the police.

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a black guy walks into a black bar

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Q: why wasn't the fan spinning? A: because it wasn't on. Duh....

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What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

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What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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what is the difference between a car salesman and a lawyer? a car salesman sells cars to people while a lawyer is an expert in law.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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dead dibbs

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George Bush, a little boy, and his grandfather are on an airplane with a failing engine. They have only two parachutes to save themselves. The plane crashes and they all die.

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The following is neither a joke or anti-joke. It's a brainteaser. It's called the Monty Hall Problem. Suppose you're on a game show, and you're given the choice of three doors: Behind 1 door is a car; behind the other 2 doors are goats. You then choose a door. The host then opens another door and reveals a goat. He then says to you, "Do you want to stick with your choice or switch?" Is it to your advantage to switch your choice? The correct answer yes, switching gives you a better odds of winning. Why? There is a simple way to understand it without the mathematical demonstration. Suppose we have the three doors 1, 2 3 and the number 2 is the winner. If you choose not to change , of course the chances to win is 1/3. Now. what happens if you decide to change? The answer is that if you initially chose an incorrect door, you will always win. In the example, if you initially chose the door 1, the presenter will open door 3(because the door 2 is the winner so he can't open that door) So if you change you will win. The same happens if you initially chose door 3(the presenter will open door 1 and if you change you will win). You will only loose if you initially chose door 2(the presenter will open door 1 or 3, and when changing you will loose) So the conclusion is that if you always decide to change, if initially you have chosen ANY(and any in capital letters!) of the TWO incorrect doors you will win. So the chances when changing is 2/3.

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How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

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A girl talks to here boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

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Why did Jane get pregnant Because she bought a man's semen and put it in her vagina.

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What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

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So the question i got asked in order to post this was: Which one is easiest? and I thought to myself, the slutty one, obviously!!

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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What is the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes you laugh and one is just a clown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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