why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a rapist

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Why did Sally fall of the swing set? Because she got hit with a mattress

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What did the tiger say to the monkey? Nothing really, just a lot of growls and other sounds as he consumed it.

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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What has eyes but cannot see? A blind man.

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What is ET short for? Extra terrestrial

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

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What do you call a black man that has just gotten out of jail? A former criminal who has served his time in prison and is now trying to redeem himself by becoming a respectable member of his community

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A black man, a white man, and an Asian man walk into a bar. The black man says, "My wife died in a terrible book-keeping accident.". The white man says, "My wife died in a terrible lightbulb-sorting accident.". The Asian says, "My wife died in a terrible geography accident.". Soon after, the bar was hit by a missile, promptly killing the three men.

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DON'T TOUCH MY DUCK, IT HAS A ONE DOLLAR BILL

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I was watching this movie..... its over now.

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What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

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Why did the man go to the doctors? He was concerned about his health.

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What is better then fisting? Fisting with a metal studded glove

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what did Dr. Dre say? Nothing you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead!

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David entered a radio contest to see who had the best pun; his pun was insufficient and he did not win.

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Hey

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Q. Why didn't the man tell his girlfriend about his big lottery win? A. Because it was none of her business.

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Why did the man get ran over by th STREET? Because he crossed the TURTLE!

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Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

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What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

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What's ripe and orange? A ripe orange.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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