Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting ass-raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

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I'm homeless.

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what did the man say to the other man when he saw a dinosaur look.

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What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

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What do you say when you walk into an optical? "Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?"

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Yo mumma so poor that she dosent have any money

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Why did Mexico enter the war? Because they were bombed.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Yes, it's for the patiënt in the other room.

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What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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What do Robbers Get for Christmas? Other peoples things.

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Q: What did the black man say to the other black man? A: Nothing. They didn't know each other.

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what's better than winning the special olympics? -not being retarded

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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The global news

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How did the Muslim girl get pregnant? She was brutally raped on the streets of Baghdad.

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An underage man walks into a bar. He then was shot and kicked out of the bar. An overage person found the body. What age is he? Normal Age

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"Whats that boy? Timmy fell down the well??" Bout time

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what do you call a farm without animals a house with a big yard

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what do you call a woman with cancer wearing a wedding dress? a shouttellcock

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A man said lol, I said lol back. Then he started to beat me up for repeating his phrase!

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile. get in the batmobile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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