Guy1: Hey! Do you want to hear a potassium joke? Guy2: Sure! Guy1: K

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's rape??

thumb_up thumb_down -12

feminists.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how did the bus fall outa the tree it got hit by a hellicopter how did the boy fall outa the tree he was attached to the bus how did the chicken fall outa the tree it fell off the branch

thumb_up thumb_down -12

One man says to the other man "Hello Sir, how are you this morning?" He replies "I am doing rather well, and how are you?" The first man replies "Quite good." And they continue about their day.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get mowed down by a tractor

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the man take the bus to work he didnt have a liscence

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's blue and looks just like water? Water.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A plane crashes in the wilderness on the border of Canada and the U.S. Where do they bury the survivors? I lied. There were none.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

96

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the number 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

thumb_up thumb_down -12

IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A preschool teacher told his class to draw a squirrel. One child proceeds to break into tears. The teacher says "what's wrong Johnny?" Johnny said "my whole family was slaughtered by a gang of squirrels!" this upset the teacher

thumb_up thumb_down -12

An Englishman, an American and a Frenchman are standing on the side of a cliff. The Englishman jumps off the cliff. The American also jumps off the cliff. He is followed by the Frenchman. Suicide and depression are major problems in today's world regardless of nationality.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than the Holocaust? Voldemort

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roxanne's hat looks like a condom

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What would Chuck Norris do if you insulted him? Nothing. He probably doesn't have time for such foolishness.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops