Why didnt the car turn on? Cause the keys werent in the ignition

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Yo momma is so fat, when she wears a bathing suit, people are like, wow, that woman is fat.

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What did the old man say? Im old

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What do you call a man who can't sing. Untalented and he should probably find a new profession

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Do you want to hear a shit joke? Stuart.

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon..... so he can eat it.

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What did the taxi driver say when the black man got in to his taxi? Where to sir?

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What's the Green Lantern's favorite holiday? Hannukah

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How do you make a Chef cry? You kill his family.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

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Why did Jimmy get off of the park bench? he wanted candy from the man in the white van

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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whats worse than being out in the cold? Being on the sun.

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What did the guy say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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How dou you find the population of mexico? Take a census....... By throwing a dime in the street!

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knock knock whos there boo boo who why are you sad my wife has cancer

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Taxes are like prostitutes. The higher your salary, the more you pay.

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Of course, the capacity to create a better society, is well within the natural limits of humankind, we do not need Gods in order to be strong, honorable kind, respectful, and so on, we do not need empty promises. We only need, to use our potential as humans, believe in it, and do our best only, if we desire the best results, take care of those that suffer, and believe that they will be there for us when we need them. We can all do it, humanity, yet choosing a lifestyle where we become peasants or soldiers, all promised happiness AFTER we have lived our lives, is what the people have decided. This is the extent of the average man and woman, even if it is far beyond the power of humanity.

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what did god say when we made his first black person oops i acidenlty burnt it

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A black guy walks into a bar orders his drink and could not do it in a more civilized way

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a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

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Adam Sandler is still funny ! *cough*

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What should you give your Italian plumber for a refreshment? Water, because he's probably working so hard that he's thirsty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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