I tried to play soccer a long time ago. I didn't score and managed to get red card... Then I realized it was not my thing

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Why did Bob wear a jumper and trousers even though it was a very hot day? Because he is an idiot.

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The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

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What did the little boy become for Halloween? An orphan, his parents were killed that day.

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What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

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What did the pig do when the farmer died? He just stood there cause pigs are stupid.

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Your mom is so poor she can't afford to buy herself nice things.

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whats helen kellers favorite activity fingering herself

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a dog in your apple

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is theoretically impossible to read another's inner thought process, but it was probably due to the electric stimulation from the brain to give the chicken's muscles the ability to move.

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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Why was King Triton mad at Ariel? Her grades were under the C.

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What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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whoes considered the best trackstar in the world. the random jamacan who ran onto the field.

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Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

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Your mother is so poor she doesn't have any money!

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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His face was drawn, but the curtains were real.

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What is similar between a dog and a cat? They are both dogs except for the cat.

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What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? When a child gets raped every night by its father.

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women's rights, lol

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what do you call a young man? a little boy

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Why did the guy have one shoe? Because he took one shoe off at a time

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Does that doctor take insurance? No, the receptionist takes the insurance, the doctor takes your blood... Well actually, the nurse does that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops