What's long, hard, and full of seamen... A Submarine

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Johnny Manziel is the best quarter ever (this isn't a joke just a true statement)

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How many rats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be really small.

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Repeat. Yeah.

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what has wheels and can fly and is purple? A plane i lied about the color purple

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Knock knock! Who's there? Me.

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Why did the blind man walk into a shop He didin't walked into a wall

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat whore.

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What did the old lady call the black pilot who's name was Marcus? Marcus

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Who wants $300? Me too.

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Alex watched his grandfather tear up as he told him the terrors of the Holocaust. Apparently killing Jews is hard on people.

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Why did the boy take the girls backpack? he has this many hands

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a shiny new Cadillac? I don't have a shiny new Cadillac in my garage.

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The president is invited to a party at Bill's house. Suddenly the house catches on fire. Who survived? No one, they all died.

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Did you see my sandwitch? No. I am your sandwitch, and therefore no one thought to put me up to a mirror. Would you like me to? No. I have no eyes. And why are you talking to a sandwitch??? ...

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DAVID.B YOU O ES 2 BAR YA TRAMP

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Whats funnier than a barrel full of dead babies? two barrels full of dead babies.

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Why did the Old man die? He died of old age.

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Why did the woman stop running? She was an escaped convict that had been on the run for twelve years and the police had finally found the place where she was hidding. Upon arriving at her house she started to open fire on the three police cars, hit two cops and killed one more. The two are fine and are going through physical therapy as they were both hit in the spine and have a difficult time performing the smallest task. The one was one called billy. Billy had died in the hospital after asking if they had got her. He died believing a lie. They never got her. She is still on the run, I lied about her stopping.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they work hard at it

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A man walks into a bar, he is then escorted to the hospital as a result of brain trauma.

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Why bouriquet laugh ? cause hes mom get hit by a bus.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

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A black man breaks into a car, he doesn't steal anything because that would a violation of the car owner's privacy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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